Making complete (non)sense out of chaos

I fail to put my finger on the exact moment it happened but now that it's taken over the exact moment is the least of my worries. Bedlam has come to rest for awhile...at least that makes one of us. This weekend I experienced little sleep, a trend that has been haunting me this past bit as it really does nothing for my existing issues of/with sleep. As I type this, the reality that I have had 2 hours of sleep in the past 36 hours (and counting) is starting to sink in. True, I have become somewhat more nocturnal during this past month and a half or so. But equally true is the fact that life seems to be moving at an increasingly faster rate with which I cannot compete. The question that has resided and rattled and rolled around in my gray matter as of late is whether I am to continue to "roll with the punches" or if I strive and struggle to regain control. True, I may not be experiencing my best thought processes right now but if all I can do at the moment is think than think is what I will do. I desire to do what I am able to, not what is easy, but sometimes it's hard to tell one from the other. Lord, have mercy on this, Your tired child.

Turn, turn, we almost become dizzy

There are few things in life that make me truly angry. At the top of my list is apathy and general disregard, mistreatment, and injustice towards the marginalized of society-not just North American society, but the societies of the world as a global community. Somewhere in the middle of the list fall my pet peaves like people touching my stomach and loudly and grossly chewing on their nails. And it's somewhere in the area around pet peaves that technology and magic are found.

They don't actually make me angry, per se, but they can make me frustrated. They frustrate me because I don't know how either work. Sure, I made a circuit of blinking LED's that I later installed into a teddy bear and got 99% in Tech 8. Sure, I like being given flowers and if they're pulled from a hat, so be it. But in the past week and a half I've been in the Coquitlam Best Buy 3 times and all 3 times I walked out of there with the same look on my face: glazed over eyes, dazed and confused face, mixed with a dash of terror, shaken-not stirred.

On my first visit, within the first 5 minutes, I had already instructed my brave male companion to "just lead me around, this is a little too much, I'll just follow you". Another few minutes had gone by when I swear the store had started to get smaller and that's when my eyes glazed over and I became numb to the experience.

My second visit was even more terrifying because the brave male companion I was accompanying this time actually engaged in a conversation with the crazy guy from car stereos. As I sipped the comfort from the cup of my grande, non-fat, extra-hot, maple machiatto I caught wisps of conversation that sent me into an internal tailspin. I heard "3-way" this and "sub-in" that. I took it as my cue to nonchalantly move from standing beside my friend to standing sort of behind him at such an angle that I was sure I had completely removed myself from the salesman's field of vision and was, thus, temporarily non-existent. If I was a super hero I would have the power of becoming invisible when I wanted to be. But I digress...

The last trip I took there I braved the scary store by myself. I was looking for a particular DVD and CD. I found the DVD section but was temporarily thrown off track because I wanted something reliable and easy, like the alphabet, but first encountered confusing categories instead. Then I needed a CD. Challenging, but I managed. Then I treated myself to a CD (Dave Matthews Band, Recently) for being so brave, as if I had coerced myself into the store and was now receiving a reward for being so courageous. I'm a bit of a techno-phob, but I'm willing to try.

Hush-a, hush-a, we all fall down

It happened. I fell while serving. Now, as most of you who have seen me struggle to stay upright while putting on my shoes know: I was not blessed with balance. But this was not my fault, it was not simply me falling randomly, which you might expect. Nope, some guys in scullery (aka "dish pit") were fooling around, throwing salad dressing at each other and they got some on the ceramic tile in the restaurant. They were asked to clean it and simply wiped it up. Then I enter the scene unaware, a hot plate in each hand. I hit the salad dressing residue, my feet come out from under me, the plates go flying, smash on the ground, cheese toast and spinach dip adorn the tile, I continue falling and land on my right side, my hip taking the brunt of it. I was sore for a few days and 'vitamin i' was my best friend. Many people were insanely angry. The 2 scullery guys almost lost their jobs. A big mess all around.

Not your average, crazy-haired, mathematical genius

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."

~Einstein